Conquering the Chaos in Our Lives

Homily for the 19th Sunday of Ordinary Time

Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. When he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened. Beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Mt 14:22-33

A while back, one of my coworkers came into my office for a meeting. I started the conversation by asking, “How are things going?” I was expecting her to answer “Fine.” Instead, she replied, “I feel like I am drowning.” For a moment, I was speechless. Finally, I asked her to tell me more. She said people at the corporate office are asking her to prepare all types of reports, half of which she doesn’t feel qualified to handle. She’s behind on many projects, both at work and at home. She has serious problems with two out of her three grown children. Her husband is having trouble finding enough work. She said, “I try to get things done, but then something takes me off track. I feel like I am falling further and further behind.” I listened for a good while and offered some guidance on the work related topics. When we were finished, I said in closing, “Is there anything else I can do?” Again, I was expecting the predictable response, “No, I’ll be ok.” Instead she said, “Yes. Throw me a life preserver!”

It is a common problem, especially as the world around us is reshaped by the pandemic. Feeling overwhelmed. Feeling inadequate to navigate the complexity in life. Feeling unable to manage the competing demands on our time. Feeling like we can’t hold it all together. Feeling like we’re drowning. Feeling like we need a life preserver.

We want life to be orderly, peaceful, happy, predictable… but instead we are surrounded by chaos.
To address just such feelings, there are two messages in this gospel passage, that can be summed up in two words: Focus and Believe.

In the midst of chaos, focus on Jesus. Believe in the power of God to guide you through life’s challenges.

Look at Peter. He was in a boat, overwhelmed by a storm. He looked to Jesus and said, “Lord, command me.” Jesus said, “Come.” Peter stepped onto the stormy sea. He walked toward Jesus on the water. As long as he kept his eyes on Jesus, everything was fine.

What did Peter do that caused him to sink? He took his eyes off of Jesus and looked at the fierce wind. He took his eyes off of Jesus and looked at the choppy waves. He felt the water tug at his tunic. He stopped looking at Jesus, and looked only at the chaos around him. Then he sank into the sea like a rock. His thoughts drifted from the power of God to the power of the wind and the power of the waves. Jesus was no longer the center of his focus.

There is so much chaos in our life in which only the power of God can really conquer. To navigate through this chaos, we need to keep our eyes fixed on the master of chaos.

There is chaos at work. I get unreasonable demands from people from hundreds of miles away and feel powerless to resist. There is chaos in the technology I use. I love my computer, but when it starts acting up, I feel helpless. There is chaos closer to my heart, in my relationships that sometimes fall prey to misunderstandings, where I or the other person accidently says something cruel or unkind. There is chaos in my other encounters, where people that cross my path who are filled with anger, negativity, or drama.

We live in a fallen world in need of redemption. As we’ve recently experienced during the rapid spread of Covid-19 and the associated problems, this means our life can rapidly shift from order to chaos.

There are other examples. When a problem surfaces with a person’s health, a life can quickly change from order to chaos, especially when one has to navigate the complex health care system. When a parent is has a teenage with behavior issues, the household moves from order to chaos. When a person has to make difficult decisions about what to do with a parent, life slips from simple to complex, from order to chaos. One moment we are in control. The next moment, we are overwhelmed.

It is no wonder we feel like screaming, “I’m drowning!”

We need Jesus. We need to believe in Jesus. We need faith that Jesus can change our life from chaos to order. Only Jesus has the power of God. Jesus is the champion of chaos. Only Jesus can allay our fears. Only Jesus can calm our stormy sea. Jesus can pull us up from our watery grave and save us from our own self-destruction.

To experience this power, we need to keep our eyes focused on Jesus, and not on the chaos.

The question is: Do you believe this? If so, then why do you still feel out of control, overwhelmed, and inadequate for the task in front of you? Perhaps it is because we are so used to depending upon ourselves. We like to be free, independent, able to solve our own problems, stay in control. The last thing we want to do is to surrender to someone else, even if that someone is Jesus.

The gospel underscores a very important point. It is not enough for me to acknowledge Jesus or even to step into danger for his sake. I must live my life with complete belief in the power of God to conquer all the forces of chaos around me. If I continue to rely solely upon my own cleverness and devices, I am liable to sink deeper into chaos.

As we keep our eyes on Jesus, we not only must believe, we must be patient. As with Elijah patiently waiting for the Lord to come by his cave, this may mean we have to wait for the Lord to reveal His presence in our life’s situation, and be ready to be surprised at the way the Lord approaches the situation. Elijah’s encounter with God is memorable. God didn’t come in a strong wind or a devastating earthquake or a raging fire. God came to Elijah in a whispering sound. In the midst of our life’s storms, how many of us would have missed the presence of the Lord in a whisper. We would have focused on the chaos, and not the Lord.

Focusing on the chaos and not on the Lord doomed Peter. It can doom us too.

The secret in doing is this through prayer. Early in this gospel passage, the disciples went off in the boat into the stormy sea. Jesus went off by himself to do what? Pray. If the God of the universe needs to take time out to pray, not just say a prayer or spend a few minutes, but to pray all night, then how much more do we need to pray.

We need to enter into a deep communion with Jesus. We need to listen to the whisper of God amidst the storms of our life. We need to cry out with Peter, “Lord, save me.”

Keep your eyes on Jesus… and believe. The life preserver is on its way!