Homily for the 19th Sunday of Ordinary Time
A met a former coworker for lunch. I politely asked, “How are things going?” Instead of the usual “fine”, she replied, “I feel like I am drowning.” For a moment, I was speechless. Finally, I asked her to tell me more. She said people at the corporate office are asking her to prepare all types of reports, half of which she doesn’t feel qualified to handle. She’s behind on many projects, both at work and at home. She has serious problems with two out of her three grown children. Her husband is having trouble finding enough work. “Is there anything I can do?” Again, I expected the predictable response, “No, I’ll be ok.” Instead, she said, “Yes. Throw me a life preserver!”
It is a common problem. Feeling overwhelmed. Feeling unable to manage the competing demands on our time. Feeling inadequate to navigate the complexity in life. Feeling like we can’t hold it all together. Feeling like we’re drowning. Feeling like we need a life preserver.
We want life to be orderly, peaceful, and happy, but instead, we are surrounded by chaos.
To address just such feelings, we have two messages that come from the story of Jesus walking in the stormy sea (Mt 12:22-33) that can be summed up in two words. “Focus” and “Believe”. In the midst of chaos, I need to keep my eyes focused on Jesus and believe in the power of God to guide me through life’s challenges.
In the gospel passage, Peter and the disciples were in a boat, out of control and terrified by a storm. Jesus appeared as a ghost, walking on the water. He said, “Do not be afraid.” Peter looked to Jesus and said, “Lord, command me to come to you on the water.” Jesus said, “Come.” Peter stepped onto the stormy sea. He walked toward Jesus on the water. As long as he kept his eyes on Jesus, everything was fine.
What did Peter do that caused him to sink? He took his eyes off Jesus and looked at the fierce wind. He took his eyes off Jesus and looked at the choppy waves. He felt the water tug at his tunic. He stopped looking at Jesus and looked only at the chaos around him. He sank into the sea like a rock. His thoughts drifted from the power of God to the power of the wind and the waves. The chaos became the center of his attention, not Jesus.
We live in a fallen world in need of redemption. This means our life can rapidly shift from order to chaos. To navigate this chaos, we must keep our eyes fixed on the Master of Chaos, the one who can calm the wind and the waves.
I sometimes ask myself, “Do I believe this?” If the answer is yes, then why do I still feel out of control, overwhelmed, and inadequate for the task in front of me?
I think the answer comes from my desire to depend on myself. Like many, I like to be free, independent, able to solve my own problems and stay in control. The last thing I want to do is to surrender to someone else, even if that someone is Jesus.
The gospel underscores a very important point. It is not enough for me to acknowledge Jesus. I must live my life with complete belief in the power of God to conquer the forces of chaos around me. If I continue to rely solely upon my own cleverness and devices, I am going to sink deeper into chaos.
As Peter was sinking, he cried out three important words: “Lord, save me.” His focus narrowed. His belief returned. When this happened, “Jesus stretched out his hand a caught Peter.” In truth, the hand of Jesus is the only life preserver we need.