“I have two possible job offers,” a man sprung on me as we met for spiritual direction. “One has a longer commute. The other requires more travel. Both reduce the time I can pray and spend with my wife.” As his spiritual director, neither sounded appealing to me.
After a deeper exploration, he saw the fear behind his urgent desire to switch jobs. His industry had certain expectations for career advancement, and he feared that if he didn’t jump ship, the technology would pass him by. In the end, he decided to stay put. Months later, God laid out a completely unexpected trajectory for his life and moved him to a place where he could flourish in his career, marriage, and faith.
During this time of Advent, we turn to Saint Joseph. He also had a decision to make. He narrowed his options to two: humiliate Mary publicly or divorce her quietly. Joseph, like my directee, might have had an underlying fear of not living up to societal expectations. But then an angel appeared to him in a dream and told him God had a third option, much better than the other two. “Do not be afraid to take Mary into your home.”
What made it possible for Joseph to heed the voice of the angel? Holy indifference. This type of indifference does not mean a person doesn’t care. It means a person sets aside all preconceived expectations and cares deeply about one thing: doing the will of God. Saint Ignatius in his Spiritual Exercises said that we are created “to praise, reverence, and serve God… therefore, we must make ourselves indifferent to all created things, as far as we are allowed.” (23)
With holy indifference, Joseph chose God’s surprising third alternative, and the plan of salvation marched on.
The lesson: Even if you boil your discernment down to two options, it’s always good to sleep on it and be open to the voice of that angel who might suggest God has a third, more excellent way.