Racing down the beach with John of the Cross

On the Fourth of July, I ran a 5K with my son down the beautiful beach of Hilton Head Island.  Most had earbuds, listening to music with a strong beat to keep their feet pumping.  I, not that interested in my pace, listened to the writings of mystic and poet, Saint John of the Cross. 

His most famous poem, “Dark Night of the Soul”, describes a wide range of human experiences, which, to my surprise, even applied to running a race down the beach. 

Saint John says that if one has found God, one need not search for anything else. I started the race, fresh and filled with enthusiasm. The ocean waves gently lapped against the shore.  There was a pleasant breeze.  The sky was blue with a few scattered clouds.  The energy from the other runners was contagious.  A rainbow appeared before one of the clouds.  I had found God. 

The race was ‘there and back’.  On my return, the hot sun emerged from behind a cloud and shined in my eyes.  The breeze buffeted my face. The finish line disappeared in the distance.  My euphoria vanished.  In that moment of struggle and uncertainty, I found myself running on faith.

This mirrors the experiences described by Saint John of the Cross.  In the early stages of awakening to the faith, people enjoy all sorts of consolations from God.  But to advance further in the spiritual life, God leads a person into the Dark Night, to purge idols and bolster dependence on God and God alone.  A person even loses contact with God – hence the name ‘Dark Night’ – and must continue his or her spiritual journey in darkness, on faith and faith alone. 

The joy I initially had in making a morning run on a picturesque beach disappeared.  Those things that had brought me consolation – the sun and the wind – now conspired against me.  The finish line, once so close, was now gone.  I entered the “Dark Night of the 5k”. 

In the Ascent of Mount Carmel, John states, “In order to arrive at what you do not know, you must go by a way in which you do not know. ” (Book 1, Ch 13, :Para. 11) This quote highlights the necessity of faith in moments where clarity is absent to go to that unknown place God has prepared. Just as I had to trust that the finish line would eventually come into view, the soul must trust in God’s presence even in times when God seems absent, even when the circumstances of life seem to have turned against it. 

I persevered and finished the race, happier and healthier from the experience. In a similar manner, when I enter a spiritual ‘dark night’, God invites me to continue to grow in the darkness, striving for that unseen finish line, even when I feel like giving up.

May the Lord be with you during your dark nights.