When discernment needs a new lens
Which is clearer, one or two? The images flashed by on the viewfinder at the eye doctor’s office, accompanied by the question, “Which is clearer?” Sometimes I’d say “one”, sometimes “two”. One occasion, I said, “I don’t know! They both look blurry.”
Discerning the will of God often starts with a similar question, “Which is clearer?” Sometimes it’s one. Sometimes it’s two. All too often, both are blurry.
Earlier this year, my wife and I, out of the blue, decided we should sell our house and move closer to our grandchildren. It made sense for several reasons, especially as we grow older. My daughter also has a condo on the beach, so the move would have the double benefit of spending our retirement years at the beach.
We found a place online, set up the appointments, and made the five-hour drive. We were dazzled by the realtor and all of the new possibilities that would come from moving. Then we drove home.
Once home, my wife and I would, without hardly speaking a word to each other, say, “I don’t really want to move.” We have a beautiful place on the lake surrounded by trees and wildlife – hard to find a comparison.
Oddly enough, we repeated this process three more times in the next two months, each visit with the same result.
I told my spiritual director about the whimsical house-hunting trips. She looked bemused. She asked the question that all spiritual directors love to ask: “How have you brought this decision to prayer?” I sheepishly responded that I hadn’t.
I turned to Saint Ignatius. He outlines three modes of discernment in his “Spiritual Exercises”. (175-188) The third mode starts with a question. We would have saved a lot of time had we started with the right question. Instead of asking, “Is it this condo or that?”, a better question would be, “Lord, is it your will that we move?”
After the question comes a disposition that says, “Whatever you want, Lord.” I’ve dreamt of living on the beach. I see great joy living near my grandchildren. But Ignatius says that to discern the will of God, “I must be indifferent…” (179)
With the proper question and disposition, the next step is to ask the Lord for guidance with a simple request: “Lord, be pleased to move my will and place in my soul what I ought to do.” (180)
The ground is now set for a list of reasons. Instead of ‘pros and cons’, Saint Ignatius says to list those reasons that bring greater “praise to God and salvation to my soul.” (181)
From this comes a decision. But that’s not the final step. It’s time to make a trip to the ‘divine eye doctor’ for affirmation. “Which is clearer, one or two?” This is so the “Divine Majesty may be pleased to receive and confirm it, if it is for his greater service and praise.” (183)
If they’re both a little blurry, it’s back to square one. Or maybe it’s time to formulate a different question.
Photo of Currituck, NC, courtesy of Deacon Clarke Cochran
