“This is enough Lord. Take my life.” These were Elijah’s desperate words as he lay under a broom tree in the desert. There have been times in my life, and maybe in your life, when I cried out, “This is enough, Lord.” I can’t take it anymore. What can we do?
Better question: What lifted Elijah from the pit of despair, and allowed him to continue his journey? He finally started listening to the Good Angel. Let’s take a closer look at Elijah’s story, and maybe it might help us when we want to lay down under the broom tree and say, “This is enough.”
Elijah’s mission was to turn people away from idolatrous worship and turn them toward worshiping the one true God.
He was a powerful prophet of God. With a word from Elijah, the rains stopped, a jug of oil never ran dry, a boy was raised from the dead, fire came down from the sky, and hundreds of idolatrous prophets of Baal were executed.
Time and time again, he tried to convince the people to return to God. They refused to hear his message. The powers turned on him one last time. He had to flee to the desert to escape.
Seeing this once-powerful man of God curled up under a scraggly broom tree is a tragic image. He went from the height of power to the depths of despair. His prophetic witness was too heavy to bear. Just like his fathers, he failed to turn the people away from their sinful lives. He laid under a broom tree and cried out, “This is enough, Lord. Take my life.”
He is experiencing what the saints call spiritual desolation. He was physically exhausted, but more importantly, he was spiritually empty. God seemed to be far, far away.
Have you ever been in a place in your life where you have cried out, “This is enough, Lord.” God, you are asking too much from me. I’ve spent my life working for others, and they don’t care. My family takes me for granted. My boss takes advantage of me at work. I just wanted to help but was met with insult. Doing good work is hard enough, but when I run into angry opposition, I want to give up. What is the point?
What lifted Elijah out of this state of despair, this spiritual desolation?
He stopped listening to the negative self-talk that doubted, ridiculed and diminished him and his work. These voices whispered to Elijah: “You don’t have what it takes. You’re no better than your parents. You’re a failure. You don’t matter. People don’t care. Your effort is a waste of time.” These voices also whisper to us when we’re falling into spiritual desolation.
Instead, he started listening to the voice of the good angel, an angel of encouragement, nourishment, refreshment, and affirmation. “Get up. You have a journey to complete. Eat. Drink. God has a plan for you.” The angel had to tell him twice, but he finally heard the message.
In our darkest moments, we get stuck listening to the negative voices and tune out the voice of the good angel. You are beloved. God has a plan for you. You need to continue your journey. Remember the faithfulness of God. God rescued you from your past trials. God will rescue you today.
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When I hear these words, “This is enough, Lord. Take my life,” I think of a woman named Blanche. She was ninety-four years old. I would bring her communion at an assisted living center.
One visit, she was in a very dark mood. She complained about not being able to see, the constant pain she experienced, and the difficulty she had getting around. Then she talked about her husband who had died and how lonely she felt. She felt like she was such a burden to everyone. She said, “I wish the Lord would take me right now. I’m ready to go.”
She was listening to the wrong voices. These voices were saying to her: “You have no purpose. You’re a burden. You need to give up.”
In response, I helped her remember the good things in her life. “Remember your delight when you showed me the wedding pictures of your great-grandson? Remember your great-granddaughter who came to tell you all about her prom. Remember how proud you are of your son?”
I said, “You may be ready to go, but they aren’t. They need you. For whatever reason, the Lord wants you to continue to be part of their life.”
In a way, I was her angel of the Lord. I brought her the Eucharist, food for the spiritual journey. I spoke words of encouragement as the Good Angel would. And like the angel said to Elijah, I told Blanche, “There is still work for you to do.”
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When you find yourself in spiritual desolation and feel like saying, “This is enough, Lord,” there is one question: Who’s voice am I listening to – is it the voice of the Good Angel, or someone else?
About the author
Husband, father, deacon, spiritual director, retreat master, and owner of a rad toy poodle.