Underneath a broom tree in the desert, Elijah cried out, “This is enough Lord. Take my life.” (1 Kgs 19:4-8) The once powerful prophet failed in his mission. He now feels completely defeated and spiritually empty.
These words, “This is enough, Lord. Take my life,” echo the words of a 94-year-old woman I would frequently visit.
On one visit, she was in a dark mood. Similar to Elijah lying under a scrabbly broom tree in the desert, she was lying in a spartan room in an assisted living center. She complained about her vision, her pain, and her lost mobility. Then she talked about her husband who had died and shared her loneliness. She said, “I wish the Lord would take me right now. I’m ready to go.” This is enough, Lord. Please take my life.
She was listening to the wrong interior voices. These voices were saying to her: “You have no purpose. You’re a burden. Your life is over. You need to give up.” These pulled her into not just a physical depression, but a spiritual desolation.
What lifted Elijah out of his spiritual desolation? He stopped listening to the negative self-talk that doubted, ridiculed and diminished him and his work. Instead, he started listening to the voice of the good angel, an angel of encouragement, nourishment, refreshment, and affirmation. “Get up. You have a journey to complete. Eat the hearth cake. Drink from the jug. God’s not finished with you.” The angel had to tell Elijah twice, but he finally heard the message.
To counter her dark mood, I helped her remember the good things in her life. “Remember your delight when you showed me the wedding pictures of your great-grandson? Remember your great-granddaughter who came to tell you all about her prom. Remember how proud you are of your son’s promotion?”
I said, “You may be ready to go, but they aren’t. They need you. For whatever reason, the Lord wants you to continue to be part of their life.”
In a way, I was her good angel. I brought her the Eucharist, food for the spiritual journey. I spoke words of encouragement as the Good Angel would. And like the angel said to Elijah, I told her, “God’s not finished with you.”
When you find yourself in spiritual desolation and feel like saying, “This is enough, Lord,” there is one question to ask: Who’s voice am I listening to – is it the voice of the Good Angel, or someone else?