Wading into the deep waters of the interior life
Last Saturday, I had the privilege of speaking to the deacon aspirants and their wives for the Diocese of Charlotte. The topic was right in my wheelhouse: the interior life, spiritual direction, and contemplative journaling.
Four years ago, I gave the same presentation. Back then, I had a beautifully crafted PowerPoint. I deployed all my rhetorical skills and walked them through the slides. By my standards at the time, it was a really good presentation.
But after several years of intense spiritual excavation, including the 30-day Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, I saw that old presentation differently. It was full of information about the interior life, but something was missing.
It occurred to me: I was teaching people how to swim without putting them in the water.
So I changed my approach.
I told the group to imagine that no one knew how to swim. The leader brings in an Olympic swimmer, who spends three hours explaining the strokes, the warm-up, the exercises, the cool-down, and the proper diet. Then, at the end, he says, “Okay. Now that you know all about swimming, go jump into the deep end!”
Knowing about swimming is not the same as swimming.
So instead of simply talking about the interior life, we waded into the water together. We practiced meditative prayer with Saint Patrick’s “Christ with me.” I led them through an examen. We listened to quiet music and let our pens move in prayer. One volunteered for a sample spiritual direction session, which was brief but powerful. We explored our emotional responses – the places where God may be inviting us forward or asking us to let go.
Then something beautiful happened.
People began to open their hearts. One spoke of grief that needed to be expressed. Another shared a struggle using the metaphor of carrying rocks up a hill. Others spoke about difficult moments in their lives and others beautiful consolations received in prayer. There was vulnerability. There was honesty. And there, I could sense Christ among us – speaking to hearts that were willing to listen.
Afterward, one of the wives came up to me. She had heard my presentation four years earlier. She told me, “It was good then. But you have grown so much. This time, I felt like you brought me into an encounter with God.”
That moved me deeply.
Maybe that is true of the spiritual life itself.
We can read books about prayer. Listen to podcasts about contemplation. Study the techniques of the masters. Even understand the theology beautifully. But there comes a point when knowing about the interior life is no longer enough.
We have to enter it. We have to become quiet enough to notice what is happening within us. We have to become honest enough to name what we find there. We have to become vulnerable enough to let God meet us in places we might prefer to keep hidden.
Four years ago, I thought my job was to explain the water. Now I think my job is to help people trust the One who is already waiting for them there.
Maybe this week, try wading into the deep end of the pool – even for a few minutes – and notice what stirs within you.
If you’d like to explore these practices, here are a few reflections you may find helpful:
A Simple Meditation to See Christ in the Moment
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